Welcome to my TED talk.
It’s time we start loving ourselves more. It’s time to stop comparing ourselves to one another and celebrate who we are. I have just consumed some gin so this may be the booze talking but I’m very tired of tearing myself apart. It’s exhausting.
I’m too fat, my knees are too knobberly (is that a word?), breasts too saggy, I’m not brave enough, not smart enough, not kind enough – I need to stop telling myself I’m not good enough. I’m not fat – I have a wonderful bottom (no lie) and I have more important things to think about than if knobberly is a real word. I am brave, I am smart and I am kind – and it’s time I start telling myself that I am good enough.
But how do we keep our self-esteem high? I may wake up tomorrow feeling back to my usual ‘not-good-enough’ self.
Write three things you love about yourself before going to bed
My therapist suggested this to me many moons ago and I do try and stick to this habit before going to bed – it can be so easy to focus on the negative, but sometimes having the positive right there in front of you, that you have said about yourself, can really help you re-focus.
Save positive messages/notes from loved ones
Sometimes when we can’t believe we are good enough, hearing it from a loved one can really help us start to believe that we are. Whether you get a text message from an old friend, praise at work, a lovely birthday card – keep a memento. Stick it to your fridge, wall, bathroom mirror – the more you expose yourself to the positive vibes, the more it may impact your mood.
Redirect the negative thoughts/comments
You will never find yourself never thinking negative thoughts or comparing yourself to other people, it’s about managing those thoughts and redirecting them. I still find myself questioning my value – I often question if I’m doing enough with ECBC and find myself comparing ECBC to other local charities or organisations. I then take a moment to recognize these thoughts and redirect them towards all the great things I am doing with this little community!
Don’t take social media so seriously
We all have our phones attached to our hands in this day and age. So it can be a massive part of our way to communicate with the outside world. Sometimes we can see things online – but they aren’t always the truth. People share a window into their life, they share what they want you to see. Don’t take what you see on social media so seriously, yes someone your age may be living a different style of life but doesn’t mean they are happier or more ‘successful’. You do you, they will do them.
Try meditation or yoga
Often people living with a mental illness or who have low self-esteem will be encouraged to exercise often. I would recommend meditation and yoga to practice emptying your mind of the small things and to focus on the big picture: you are alive. You are breathing. Your life is what you make it and it doesn’t matter what Sharon from high school is doing on her Instagram platform – enjoy your life and focus on you.
Recognise that every day is different
You are going to have the good days, and the bad. You are going to have days when you feel on top of the world and days where you feel rock bottom. This is okay and totally normal. It’s what Ronan Keaton was on about – life is a rollercoaster and you just have to ride it (I bet you read that in his singing voice, am I right?)
It isn’t easy to love yourself, if it was none of us would be in relationships – it’s so much easier to love someone else. But we love those people for their whole package, their good moments and their faults. So why can’t we love our whole package?
If you have any further tips or experience fighting the self-doubt monster, please let us know your story.
Sending you all lots of love. You are beautiful and deserve love.