I am lucky enough to have a good close group of friends, however I didn’t tell any of these friends that I was struggling. I didn’t want to bother anyone else with my problems, why should they have to deal with my struggles?
A friend has since reminded me that this is was good friends are for. If one of my friends were to turn round and confide in me that they were struggling – would I be sat there annoyed that they were sharing with me? Hell no. I often encourage sharing and being open about how we are feeling – so why am I always the first to tell myself that my friends wouldn’t want to know?
I do not value myself highly enough.
This is something I have struggled with most of my life. I lack self-love. I don’t believe I deserve it – I dish out all of my love and leave very little for myself. If I am struggling I tell myself that I need to keep going and I will deal with the situation – that I don’t deserve my friends support.
I once carried a IKEA wardrobe from my car to my flat which was on the third floor – and it never occurred to me to ring someone for help. I believe I can deal with my problems by myself- but then three hours later I was sat on the floor having a melt down as I couldn’t assemble the wardrobe by myself and my lovely mother had to come and save me.
But we shouldn’t see ourselves as a burden on anyone – with suicide rates at an all-time high we need to encourage self-love and asking our loved ones for help. If you do not feel like you have close enough friends or family to ask for help there are professionals we can ask for help who will know how to help.
When I was feeling suicidal last year it never occurred to me to ring Samaritans to ask for help and I think a lot of people are in a similar mindset. We do not believe we deserve help. This is never true, we always deserve help and we are not burdens, we just need to start believing that we deserve to be here and we deserve to be loved.
Self-love is so underrated and this idea of putting yourself first and being ‘selfish’ is doing us no favours. We deserve to look after ourselves and we deserve to treat ourselves. It’s not selfish it’s SELF CARE.
When you are next feeling overwhelmed – talk to a friend, let them know you’re struggling. If you are feeling low, go and meet up with a loved on with a cuppa and get some things off your chest.
We are all worthy of love.
You are worthy.