Okay so this post has already started in a negative light but bear with me, it is a positive post that hopefully will help those living with a mental illness.
One thing I have learnt from my experience with depression and anxiety is that I tend to value others higher than myself. I put their needs before my own and that can tire me out and make me feel worse when all I needed to do was prioritise properly. With this you will often say ‘Yes’ to those you care about, even though it may not be the best thing for you and your mental health. You end up going to that party you know you’ll hate, doing that job for your friend who said it would only take the one hour (it never does) and before you know it, you’ve gone to 0 to 60 and you’re crying over a very small thing.
We need to put ourselves higher on the priority list.
I propose from now on we use the power of ‘NO’. Saying no doesn’t make you a bad person, you aren’t going to automatically become a Disney villain if you say you’re busy or that you can’t help with something. The film Yes Man is all about saying yes to more things – which I can appreciate as it does help some people come out of their comfort zone and perhaps do something they never usually would. However, this is only a film and lasts 2 hours…. so how about the rest of this man’s life? Let’s be realistic, he may not have ended up with a happy ending if the film was 43 years long.
Let’s agree that from now on we’re going to tell ourselves it’s okay to say no.
We can say no to going to that event if we’re not feeling our best, we can have a day at home taking care of ourselves or organising our homes instead of going out – and you know what, you don’t have to take your friend and her 5 suitcases to the airport. There’s a tram now – on you pop pet.
This doesn’t make you a dick, it just means you are putting your needs first and if we want to have a healthy mental well-being we need to do more of this. It’s a nice way of telling ourselves we are good enough and we are valued.
Let me know how you get on with your new task. Feel free to say no.
Love, Emma x